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In Defense of My Existence

28 May 2005

better than cream cheese

I am a vegetarian. A very bad vegetarian considering I will still eat fish on occasion. Nonetheless, given my mindset, I will most certainly be vegan soon enough (I am heading in that direction, you see). Surely a very bad vegan though, as I doubt I will put very much effort into learning the egg and dairy content of my baked goods, not to mention my veggie burgers.

Eggs aren't much of a problem. They tend to gross me out except for the occasional hard-boiled egg--something I can easily live without. Dairy is more of an issue. I tend to subscribe to the notion that dairy products aren't much better than poison when human consumption is involved. But I sure do love ice cream... and milk on my cereal... and cheese. Cubes of cheddar and swiss and meunster... and cottage cheese with pineapple or Fritos (it's surprisingly good)... and, of course, cream cheese on my bagel.

I can handle ice cream and milk deprivation. I love sorbet and genuinely enjoy substitutes made from soy and rice milks. I use rice milk on my cereal and in my cooking with stellar results. And cheese? Well, simply because of how awful it is for you I wince when I find a slice of cheese on my sandwich. However, I will have a few cubes of the tasty little toxin at a party or office event, and a block of it can, once in a blue, be found in my and my boyfriend's 'fridge. (Sorry, vegan foods industry, you need to keep working on your "cheese" products. Nutritional yeast flakes only go so far.) I do love cottage cheese, though... I mean really love cottage cheese. Since it's not as bad for you as other cheeses it's here to stay. That leaves me with cream cheese. I like it but, as with cubed cheese, it's a treat. I will sometimes get flavored or low-fat (blech), but I usually take my bagel plain.

("Wow! This guy's really hung-up on dairy foods." I promise I have a point... not a very important point, but a point nonetheless.)

So, a few weeks ago I went to
Veganopolis for a quick something on my way to work. I decided on a spelt bagel (it's a vegan cafe, of course it's spelt). "That's two bucks." Two bucks for a fucking bagel! "It's organic." Two bucks for a fucking bagel! "It's locally made." So we're all about locally made in Portland, but it's still two bucks for a fucking bagel! (Keep in mind it was a very small bagel and I was in the two-days-before-payday-what's-going-to-bounce stretch.) "It's only $2.50 with Tofutti brand Better Than Cream Cheese cream cheese substitute." I do a quick calculation in my head: same price as lox and 25 cents more than veggie at my regular spot. Why the hell not.

Mmmmm. Surprisingly creamy. Without the oily aftertaste of some regular cream cheeses...

Thank you Veganopolis!
Tofutti brand Better Than Cream Cheese really is better than cream cheese!

Now if I could just find a damn cottage cheese substitute!


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