the sensual courthouse

All rise for the Honorable Judge... Rockmyworld...

[P-Funk riffs play in the background.]

Sometimes, for work...

(Jackets and sport coats slide down long, toned Polo Ralph Lauren arms. As for the ladies? Well, you can keep that Chanel on for now--I won't tell anyone it's really JC Penney.)

...I have to run documents to the courthouse...

(Belts break free. Shoes go flying. Hair is unleashed in a whip as forceful as any Herbal Essence commercial.)

...And in this kooky post-9/11, judge-stalking world...

(Cellphones, jewels, bracelets pile up. Pens with metal nubs escape from hidden zippered locales.)

...the ubiquitous metal detector has made the practice of law...

[Rythms build to fortissimo in a glorious explosion of funky grooves... is that George Clinton I hear?]

...a whole lot sexier!

"Oh, Judge! Is that a chain on your wallet or are you just into... hung juries??"

(All that's missing is a wind machine.)